Thursday, June 2, 2016

Two of Water (Reversed)

Two of Cups
Gaian Tarot
First Impressions:  This is a card of unconditional love.  I love how she is hugging her dog, you can totally feel the love coming off of both of them.  As this card is reversed, it is talking to me of love withheld.

Journaling:

Again I'm getting a card about ending relationships and about co-dependency.  I know it is time to let go of a X and move on. He's pulled away and it is time for me to let go and accept that it isn't going to happen.  The sad thing is that I really miss his friendship.  I miss having someone in my life who knows me that well.

Even if there may be a time in the future when we are meant to be together, that time is not now.  Now is the time to open my heart to love and ask the universe for guidance as to what I want in a relationship.  It is time open my heart and manifest the relationship that is right for me.

It is also the time to let go of my anger at my mother.  She is who she is and I cannot change her.  I don't want to say she is incapable of learning and /or growing, but at the end of the day it is not my problem.  I have to accept her as she is and choose what our relationship looks like.  I tried to let her into my life on a limited basis and she chose to break that trust.  Maybe I need to look at this from a different perspective:  I chose to cut her out of my life because it was the best choice for me, just like John chose to walk away because it was the best choice for him.

December 29, 2017

The end of my marriage still bothers me a lot and the farther away I get and the more able I am to put things into perspective, I realize that it doesn't bother me that it ended, it bothers me the way it ended and that John treated me with such disrespect.  He told the kids before me, he didn't help move out or settle the house, he expected me to just live there by myself.  However, as I told Cam about something else today, when people treat you like crap that is all about them!  It shows that he is a totally crappy person with no manners and he is not someone I need in my life.

The very best lesson I learned from my marriage is that I deserve respect and that if someone does not treat me with respect, they are not in my life for long.

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