|Nine of Cups|
Book: Realizing a long held dream, period of emotional contentment. It's possible someone may be missing from your life.
Guidance: Appreciate what you have
The words that struck me as I read this is that there is probably someone missing from your life. This last week has really been about missing my mom, but I don't know how to reconnect. The rules I choose to live by (treating people with respect, setting boundaries, and not giving unsolicited advice) are ones that make sense to me and I surround myself with people who treat me like I want to be treated. I have no clue how to set boundaries with her because she won't respect them. She will be hurt and see boundaries as a rejection. Maybe I just need to think it over and then be willing to listen.
December 23, 2017
It really hurt to read what I wrote over a year ago and realize that I'm still feeling like an orphan and motherless. It hurts to not have someone who loves me unconditionally and who will listen to me when I cry and support me. I never have had that in my life as my entire childhood growing up I always had to be careful what I said so I didn't set her off. I could never be honest about what was going on in my life because I would either be judged or get a lecture. There is no one from my childhood who could just flipping listen and support without being judgemental.
What especially ticked me off is how people would give advice even when I didn't ask for it. My Uncle Gene had to advise me how to spend my money and that flying lessons were a waste even though I didn't ask for his advice. And the first thing my mother said when she walked in to my new house was, "Why'd you put that picture there? I would have put it there." How flipping rude and insulting is that? The house was clean and looked really nice, but she had to find fault. I can't do that any more in my life.
It is one thing if someone is endangering themselves or others, but if they are making judgments that are different than mine, it is not my place to give advice. And I would never walk in to someone's house and critique their decorating. That is just rude.