Thursday, November 10, 2016

Daily Draw: The Lovers

First Impressions:  Choices and love

Book:  Make good and balanced choices, consider all facts before making a choice

Guidance:  Don't rush into decisions, live a passionate life

Journaling:

This card is about making choices.  For me, I'm reading it about choices for love and I need to get the old voices out of my head and let go of my fat as a protective mechanism and that's kind of a scary thought.  However, along with letting go of the fat, I'm going to work to pick up some self defense skills and I'm buying a taser.  that will help me feel safer.

July 5, 2019

So I didn't take the self defense courses, but I have started doing loving kindness meditations and they are helping me to feel so much better about myself overall.  I feel like I have a lot more confidence and I'm happier in my head.  That's helping me to be more confident in my body and my clothes are really starting to be a lot looser.  I haven't noticed the number on the scale moving, but I am moving more and I'm just feeling better about myself.  I also notice that when I am feeling more confident and calmer, I make better food choices.  Although it hurt like hell the time, I know that splitting from John was the best thing that ever happened to me.  It let me start to see what I am capable of on my own.  At first it was really just a glimmer, but now I know that I can have the life i want and do the things I want without someone to rescue me.

That doesn't necessarily mean I am choosing not to have a relationship.  Instead, I am choosing to love myself and know that the relationship that is right for me will come along when I'm ready.  And until them,  I'm just going to hang out and love myself.

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