Friday, December 30, 2016

Ace of Cups

Ace of Cups
Gilded Tarot
First Impressions:  I love the phases of the moon above the cup, but I don't really like the eye looking down.  For me that is kind of creepy.  This card is about emotional fulfillment.

Book:  Infinite supply of love, spiritual gifts, relationship opportunities, peaceful, grateful, feeling enriched, purity of emotions

Guidance:  Deepen your capacity for love

Journaling:

The ace of cups is such a hopeful card!  It reminds me that to receive love I have to open myself up and be willing to receive.  This is why I've been doing a lot of work with my solar plexus chakra.  I have to be open to receiving love and that's not something that I'm always comfortable with..  I sometimes avoid showing up in life and that's unfortunate for me.  I still want someone in my life, but I've gotten to the point in my life where I need to be comfortable with me.  I'm not going to spend my life waiting for something that may never be.

Dearest Ones,
I surrender my feelings to you and I know that you have the perfect person for me.  Please help me to be patient and to love the life I have.  Also, please help me to truly show up in life and guide me to the opportunities and experiences that are right for me.

Blessed Be,
Raine

It always amazes me how calm and centered I feel after praying and turning things over.  It isn't always easy but a sense of calmness washes over me when I am able to get out of my own way and communicate with the divine.

December 30, 2017

It still amazes me how praying helps me to feel better about anything that is going on.  It just brings that intense feeling of peace that lasts throughout the day.  I've also found that if I pray on a regular basis, I am better able to respond to situations and to think more clearly.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Three of Pentacles

Three of Pentacles
Gilded Tarot
First Impressions:  I love the way the man is holding the pentacles and checking them to make sure they are correct.  This card traditionally speaks to collaboration and working together.

Book:  Creating and delighting in the process, collaboration, Creating what you envision, skill and spiritual values, spiritual renovation.

Guidance:  Cooperate with others, new work from a spiritual perspective.

Journaling:

I love thinking about opening my soul to renovation.  To me that speaks of making something good even better.  I am finally starting to appreciate the beauty and wonder that is me.  I'm appreciating my strengths and my perseverance.  I have been given and amazing life and I am so far of how far I've come and all that I've gone through to get here. 

However I can also appreciate that my halo is a little dirty and could use some polishing.  I know that I have work to do in letting go and forgiving.  I'm also realizing I have work to do in accepting healing work as a valid way to spend my time.  I sometimes get so caught up in beating myself up for reading a book or reading my tarot cards that I forget that I'm human and my body needs rest and my soul needs this healing work.  Sitting here and reading cards and journaling is a valid way to spend my time.

I think I'm jealous because people with addiction get 30 days or so to work on healing and other bruised and broken people are expected to just pick themselves up and move on with no down time.  After my divorce, it would have been amazing to check out of life for 30 days and focus on healing.  It would have been awesome to have structured workshops on different aspects of healing and to have someone guide me through the process of becoming whole again.  I instead I was left to flounder and find my own path.  I am so fortunate that I found people to help me and guide me and now I may be being led to create a program to help others.  It truly is a sacred duty.

Dearest Ones,

Please guide me to create a program that will help others grow and change.  Help me find ways to make people's burdens just a little lighter.

December 29, 2017

The message I've been getting from my guides lately is that I need to focus on me and focus on what is helping me.  I can be an example to others to help them heal by following in my footsteps, but it is not time yet to be more active in creating something.  I need to do the prep work and build the foundation before I jump right in.  I'm really good at jumping right in, but I need to build my website slowly, build some class content because that's fun for me.  Continue helping Scott, but I don't need to jump in with both feet right now.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Ace of Cups

Ace of Cups
Gilded Tarot
First Impressions:  This card as interesting as it seems to be about intellect and knowledge flowing into the cup instead of emotions.  I do love how the phases of the moon are over the cup, tying it to emotions and intuition.

Book:  Purity of emotion, spiritual love, meant to guide as in being drawn along by a feeling, do not run from intuition, peaceful, grateful, receiving love and blessings

Guidance:  Accept and feel your emotions

Journaling:

I am in a place in my life where I am emotionally fulfilled.  I'm accepting and recognizing the love that is all around me and that's a good thing.  I feel as if I am blossoming by surrounding myself by people who are supportive and uplifting instead of gossipy nags.

I never realized how much my upbringing negatively affected me.  My mother truly did set the stage for my marriage to John as she trained me to be a subservient nobody and that's exactly what he wanted in a wife:  Someone who would do her bidding and not want a life of her own.  My saving grace is that he was incapable of supporting a family so I had to work to support us.  If that hadn't been the case, I might have lost all of me.

December 28, 2017

Sitting here in my house that only has my name on the mortgage, I'm realizing exactly how much I have broken away from my upbringing as I am not the person I was raised to be.  My mother raised me to be subservient and to put everyone else first, but somehow I've overcome that and become a strong and independent woman. 

As I write that phrase, I am so glad for Nephthys showing up in my life.  I have to be honest and say I was so afraid when she first showed up as she was the epitome of a virgin woman:  strong, independent, and confident.  I was terrified of being independent as I'd been raised to believe that a woman was nothing without a man, but I am someone all by myself.  Although I'd like someone in my life, I can still be complete and whole onto myself without someone. 

Dearest Nephthys,

Thank you so much for showing up all those years ago and taking me under your wing.  Thank you for helping me become the strong and independent woman I am today.  And I finally know I am independent enough to share my life with someone.

Blessings,

Raine




Friday, December 2, 2016

Ten of Cups

Ten of Cups
Gilded Tarot
First Impressions:  I love the cups in a rainbow over the house as it feels as if good stuff is going to shower down upon the family.  Interestingly, there are no children in this card, but there are a couple of happy and playful cats.

Book:  Harmonies, lives free of strife and conflict, happy home life, serene, blissful, loving unconditionally

Guidance:  Do not neglect your family, do not stop treating people with love and consideration

Journaling:

This card is such a confirmation of the work I've done.  For the most part I am happy and content with my life.  I do want someone to love, but I've been so incredibly blessed with the kids, my home, etc.  The only fly in the ointment right now is the way that John is treating Sean.  Now not only has he forgotten he has a daughter, it also seems like he has forgotten he has a son and it makes me mad.  I know I can't say anything, but it still makes me mad that he is hurting SME again and again.

December 28, 2017

I hate it when I write something and put no context around it.  I'm not sure why I was pissed at John last year, but it was probably because he was paying more attention to his girlfriend than Sean, but I guess it really doesn't matter.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

The Sun (Reversed)

Gilded Tarot--The Sun (Drawn Reversed)

Keywords / Impressions:  Sadness, feeling of loss or loneliness

Book:  Hiding your light, low self esteem, failure to see the good, expecting everything to revolve around you

Guidance:  Break through the clouds of gloom and despair and step confidently into your own light, love yourself more

Journaling

11/7/17--Oddly enough I did not do any journaling on this card when I originally pulled it.  I'm not sure why because I think the messages are inspiring and things I truly need to listen to even today.  I get so caught up in judging myself and putting myself down that I don't give myself credit for the good things I do.  I need to quit doing that.

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