Thursday, December 22, 2016

Daily Draw: Hanging Man (R)

First Impressions:  Stuck in one mode, unable to consider different points of view

Book;  Being too self righteous, false spirituality, too preoccupied with material issues, not sharing wisdom and grace, an end to a trying time

Guidance:  Show wisdom and grace to others, take back your power

Journaling

This card is hitting me today as the word's wisdom and grace are jumping out at me.  I also need to show wisdom and grace to myself.  I beat myself up for my thoughts instead of just letting go and releasing them.  My thoughts are my thoughts.  It is only when I dwell on them that they cause me problems.  I need to just let them go.  I need to go back to doing a good box this year as that has truly helped.

This card is incredibly deep and I don't know whether to read it as taking back my power or offering forgiveness and grace.  Maybe it is truly both because offering grace is a way of claiming my own power.  I'm no longer in a place where others have power over me  This is a lot of where I'm at with X.  I have given him so much power over me for so long that it feels weird to be taking back my power and my need for him.  I'm also just discovered this amazing book called Change Me Prayers and I'm realizing that I need to surrender my need for control.  I've started praying for the one who is right for me to come into my life and that is a little uncomfortable because I'm used to driving and choosing.  But I need to sit back and surrender is driving me crazy.

July 8, 2018

The theme of surrender has been coming up again and again for me.  It is also something that I truly struggle with as I love to be in control  Cam and I were talking today about how it is easier to surrender when you are in a plane because there is truly nothing I can do to change what happens.  It is harder to surrender everyday life when I think that I should be able to change things.  However, there are so many things in life that I cannot change and I cannot even influence. 

I've actually put up an Isis altar and I'm going to work on surrendering things to her and imaging her taking things in her loving arms.


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