|Three of Pentacles (R)|
Dark Goddess Tarot
Book: Inefficiency, working at cross purposes, state of inner and outer discord, exhausted, overworked, burned out, not taking enough care
Guidance: Be aware of losing the magical connection to process and project, reconsider the team you are working with
Interesting guidance as I've been thinking about the team in my life and I'm realizing that I surround myself with users who don't give back. John was a user, A can be a user to a certain extent, L is definitely a user. My gives give back what they can, but I'm definitely carrying the heaviest load.
I'm wondering if part of the reason I'm struggling with manifesting love and relationships is that I have nothing left to give. I'm overdrawn emotionally and spiritually and there is no one to fill up my reserves and take care of me. I'm really torn about mentoring someone right now because it feels as if it is someone taking from me without getting anything back and I don't have a lot to give right now.
I need to give some serous thought as to whether or not this is working and whether I can do it. I have to give serious thought to how to refill my well.
January 23, 2018
The universe has been telling me lately that I'm running on empty and I need to recharge. They are screaming this message at me as I left both my computer charger and the charger for my DVD player at home. If that's not a big time screaming message that I'm out of energy, I don't know what is. One of the ways this project has been really good for me is that I have had to rely on others and haven't been able to just jump in and do everything. I've had to let others do the heavy lifting and that has been really difficult for me.
Right now I'm working on ways to stop the energy drain and the first one is better boundaries to stop expending energy on random strangers. That means tuning out the people who talk at me on planes, taking the bus instead of a cab when I can, and, if all else fails, telling people I don't have time to talk to them. That sounds so rude, but right now I am in survival mode from an energy drain and I need to take care of myself.
I also need to find ways to recharge. I'm glad the weather is getting better because I love to walk outside and that really helps me recharge my energy.. I'm also going to take my turns walking the Clarken.