Saturday, September 2, 2017

Eight of Water

Eight of Water
Dark Goddess Tarot
First Impressions:  Sedna is always a goddess of deep despair for me based on her story.  She is a powerful goddess who withholds animals from the Inuit unless they confess their taboos and appease her.  She always strikes me as cold and unfeeling as if the trauma that her father put her through (cutting off her fingers) left her permanently devoid of compassion.

Book:  Going deep is not an easy task, let it be worthwhile.  Sedna reigns in the deep dark oceans, past the place of final breath.  Sedna was betrayed by one who loved her, one she trusted, and one who was responsible to care for her.  When she is treated with respect, she will release the animals from the deep and allow her people to partake of the bounty of the sea.

Guidance:  Sedna's guidance tells us to care for the child who has been betrayed.  She also tells us to look at old wounds we may have below the surface and to understand the links between those woulds and our woulds.

Journaling:

Wow!  This is powerful stuff and it sums up a lot of where I'm at.  I've been betrayed and sold out by people who were supposed to love and cherish me and it hurts a lot.

Luke
February 14, 2004 to July 21, 20117
RIP
I've been feeling Sedna lately as I feel the despair and the betrayal.  It feels as if I'm swimming in a deep soup of emotions and I'm scared to let go because I'm scared I will drown in these painful emotions.  I'm scared of truly feeling my grief for Luke because I'm scared that once I let the sorrow flow out, I won't be able to turn it back off.  I'm scared to go back to the deep dark place that I was after John left.  I thought I would never be able to come out of the darkness.

Message from Sedna:

There is a difference, Raine.  Your' grief for Luke is pure and unadulterated by anger or a sense of betrayal!  Luke loved you with everything he had.  There were no games or using.  It was pure unadulterated love.  You can't say that with John as there were always games.

December 18, 2017

Dear Sedna,

Thank you for the reminder that Luke's love was pure and unadulterated.  I've been feeling disloyal to Luke because I've been fallling in love with Clark because he is so cute and energetic.  I'm realizing that loving Clark doesn't dishonor Luke.  It is about opening my heart and there is room in my heart for both of them.

December 27, 2017

Wow!  This was amazingly powerful!  I've been feeling a lot of grief right now.  This time of year is hard for me as all of the drama I've been through and the body memories from all the painful stuff that has happened in November and December.  I think a lot of what I'm feeling comes down to grief and learning to grieve well.  I'm realizing that it is okay to feel my feelings and that I don't have to stuff them. If I am honest and feel my feelings when I feel them, they do not become so scary and overwhelming.


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