Monday, November 20, 2017
Daily Draw: Two of Swords
Book: Experiencing conflict between logic and intuition, battle between head and heart remains unsolved
Guidance: You have to decide, lock on the decision and decide, pretending it isn't there, won't make it go away
I've made my decision. I'm going to manifest a relationship with X. I know the risks an I know the potential hurt, but I'm ready to move forward. Life is not without risk and pain and unless I embrace this fully, it will not happen. No more wimpy magick that says or something better. There is no something better. He is who I want and that's that. And I'm not going to focus on the downsides or how it will play out, I'm going for it.
November 25, 2017
Making a decision to truly commit and go for it is a little difficult, but I'm ready. I've been working on letting go of all the excuses I've come up with for it not working and I'm done making excuses.
I am worthy and I deserve happiness.
November 9, 2018
I'm realizing that it truly is because I am worthy and deserve happiness that the relationship with X did not happen. I'm realizing that at the end of the day, a relationship between us would not have worked. While he lives in my work world, he doesn't live in my spiritual world and that just wouldn't work. I've realized that while I was not the desperate divorcee that became a barfly, I was desperate in my own way and chased someone that would have been equally bad for me because I was lonely and had no self esteem. Now that I am truly valuing myself, I'm realizing that it is better to be alone than in a relationship that wouldn't work.
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