Monday, December 11, 2017

Hag of Water

Hag of Water
Dark Goddess Tarot
First Impressions:  Just glancing at this card, it appeared as if Ran was feeding birds, but then I realized that she was underwater and that there was a person falling into the water.  Overall this card gives me a sense of despair and grief.

Book:  Goddess of the sea who claims lives when she is bored.

Guidance:  Surrender to the sea to find her hidden places, stop fighting the tide, make offerings to the depths, embrace our ability, you know where you belong, accept it.


The day I originally journaled I was really upset with my daughter for wanting to go on a walk when I didn't want to and for her playing the expert.  I wrote a whole lot of really nasty things that I don't want to repeat here🙁.  The bottom line is thought that I should have maintained better boundaries and not let myself get talked into going with her. 

December 27, 2017

The stuff I originally wrote is exactly the reason I decided to put my journals online and to sanitize them.  Writing all the garbage I wrote felt really good, but at the end of the day it would have served no one to have her read it.  We are human beings and even though we all love each other, there are times when the kids get on my nerves and I'm sure there are times that I get on their nerves.  It's been a little jittery to have the kids home over the holidays as I was looking forward to cleaning and chilling and that's harder to do with everyone here.

However, this is their home and I want them to know it is their home so it would be horrible for me to put up arbitrary rules and say they can't be in the living room because I want it to be quiet.  That would be mean and I'm not going to do it.  We will just all compromise and it will all work out.

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