Sunday, January 7, 2018

Alchemy (Temperance)

Alchemy
Dark Goddess Tarot
First Impressions:  I love the Celtic knot work on this card and the fact that Brighid is wearing a Brighid's cross.  I didn't realize at first that she was standing in front of a fire and thought she was stirring a pot of creativity.  I guess either option is apt as she is both the goddess of the forge and the goddess of creativity.

Book:  Fire purifies, water restores, powerful and approachable, something new that arises from the union.

Guidance:  Situation is improved by providing skill and attention, different feelings require expression, pull the pain out of your soul, seek balance.

Journaling:

Wow!  As I pulled this card, I found myself facing Brighid.  She was standing behind the flames and beckoning me to step through the forms and to be transformed.  She stands there, welcoming me, beckoning me, calling me; but stepping through the flames of transformation has to be my choice.  I can step through the flames of love or I can choose to stay where I am.  She is telling me that the burning flames of passion will transform me and not destroy me.  I realize that I have been terrified that if I allow myself to fall in love again, I will lose all that I am.  She is telling me that I will change, but will be transformed.

January 13, 2018

This was the third card in a row I pulled that talked about change and growth.  I'm realizing, that I'm tired of the corporate world.  I'm tired of all the games, of the need to play nice, of the need to take bullets for the company.  I'm tired of it all, but I like my salary and I like the freedom.  Part of my problem is that I always lead with my heart.  I put my heart and soul into what I do and it's hard when that is for a company that doesn't value what I do.  I'm bone tired and weary.  I also know that part of the reason I stay is for the benefits that I keep in case I need to go to the doctor or need to seek care. It is difficult to consider being an entrepreneur in this country when the cost of healthcare is so high.

Dearest ones,

Please guide me down the path I am meant to be on and help me find a way to feed my soul and have the house and benefits I have now.  Help me and guide me to the people that it is right for me to meet.  Help me to find a way to build a spiritual business while still receiving my paycheck until I am in a position to go solo.

Blessed be,

Raine


Saturday, January 6, 2018

A Spell to Release Burdens

Life can be hard sometimes and we often carry around burdens that aren't ours.  Sometimes we carry worry about our loved ones or the weight of others expectations.  When that happens, we can start to feel like the person in the 10 of wands who is bent over from carrying all the weight of all the wands in the world.  When that happens it might be time for a little tarot magic to help ease your burden. 

Before doing this little spell, find a time when you won't be disturbed, take the phone off the hook (or put it on silent), tell your family you need some alone time, and find a comfortable place.  It can be your kitchen table, an altar, your desk, or any place that feels comfortable to you.  If you want to set the mood, you can light a candle and some incense, but that's not necessary to do this spell.  Grab your favorite tarot deck and get comfortable.

Once you're comfortable, pull the following cards from your deck:

  • The Ten of Wands
  • A court card that represents you
  • The ace corresponding to your court card
Ten of Wands
After you've pulled your cards, hold the ten of wands in front of you and step into the person on the card.  Feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, look into the distance and see the town that is so far away. Take some time to think about what you're carrying on your shoulders.  I realized that all the weight I felt was the weight of everyone else's expectations:  the weight of my children's need to be supported, the weight of my mother's expectations about how I lived my life, the weight of my ex-husband's thoughts about what I should or should not be doing in my life, the weight of work expectations, etc.  After you've identified what you're carrying around that you're ready to release, let the wands fall off your back.  Feel yourself releasing the burdens you're carrying, as they fall off your back, stand up tall and move your shoulders around.  

Now, pick up the court card and imagine yourself embodying this card.  Feel yourself within the card as you take on the confidence of the card.  Look around as if you were seeing the world from the court card's position.  Feel queenly, feel kingly, feel the strong and bold energy of a knight, or feel the inquisitive energy  of a page.  

Once you feel you are inhabiting the energy of the court card, pick up the ace and envision yourself using the energy of the card to create a bubble around you.  If you are using a wand or sword, you can envision yourself drawing a circle on the ground that encompasses you and becomes an energy sphere.  If  you're using a pentacle, imagine sprinkling salt around yourself and creating an energy sphere.  For those of you who chose water, imagine a bubble getting bigger until it surrounds you.

Take a few moments to sit within your magic bubble, envisioning it's walls serving as a boundary between you and the burdens that are no longer yours.  Sit within the peace and calm of your sanctuary and remind yourself that you only have to carry the burdens you choose to pick you and you can choose to put down the burdens that are not yours at any time.

When you're ready to leave your sacred bubble, open your eyes and re orientate yourself to your ordinary surroundings.  And the next time you are tempted to pick up someone else's burdens, remind yourself of your sacred bubble.

Destruction

Destruction
Dark Goddess Tarot
First Impressions:  I love the red fringe hanging over Kali, although I'm not sure if it is fire raining down on her or fire she has conjured.  I see her as severing heads and moving forward.

Book:  All the world changes, necklace of skulls and skirt of limbs, beloved by people as she allows them to move beyond fear.

Guidance:  Pray that Kali will be kind, illusions will be shattered, ride it out as best you can, do not evade dealing with something difficult

Journaling:

There are a couple of difficult things that I am dealing with at work. The first is not being 100% dedicated to a project and billable.  However, feeling insecure does not mean I am on unstable ground.  It is a feeling and not necessarily a fact.  Building new things always brings with it a period of adjustment, of change, and of growth.  Going through change does not mean that things will not work out.  It just provides opportunities for good things to flow into my life. 

I also need to accept that something I've really wanted in my life is an illusion and is not going to happen.  The one thing I have come to realize about this situation is that it really isn't about me.  Just because someone is not in a position to do something, does not mean I am unlovable or unworthy.  It really is not personal and has nothing to do with me.  The good thing is that this realization doesn't shatter me or even make me sad and that makes me happy.

January 13, 2018

Despite the fact that I deal with change everyday at work, it is still not something I truly enjoy.  I especially hate the destructive aspects of change because it hurts and is painful.  My divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me as it allowed me to become more truly myself, but it was also the hardest thing that ever happened to me.  I was stripped to the bone and there were times when it felt as if I would never recover.  However, it also allowed me to rebuild myself and to become a better and stronger person.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Witch of Air

Witch of Air
Dark Goddess Tarot
First Impressions:  I love the swirling colors on this card and how there is really an impression that the wind is blowing and life is swirling all around.  This card tells me that the winds of change are blowing.

Book:  Tear the veil between the worlds and anything can happen, riding storms into battle, bringing change to all she touches, destruction, carrying the power of the wind

Guidance:  Your power is great during this time of upheaval, power comes from knowing your heart and soul

Journaling:

I love the message of Oya, especially as I sit here listening to the wind howling.  It feels like a time of transition.  The world is changing and I can choose to move with it or to resist and be blown apart.  One of the lesson I'm feeling is that Oya flows back and forth, she doesn't just move in one direction.

I know there are times I need to move backward to take a step forward, but the step backward doesn't have to be really far as sometimes just one step back can really help us to gain perspective.  As I sit and listen to the cold wind blow, I'm realizing the other lesson from Oya's world:  She blows away that which is no longer needed  The leaves are blowing off the trees now because they are no longer needed, but the snow stays put as it is needed to help the planet grow.

What needs to blow away in my life to reveal the bones of the matter?  What is important to me?  What needs to stay?

January 20, 2018

Dearest Oya,

Goddess of Change, Goddess of the Marketplace, please help me to see what I need to let go of and help me to be the person I need to be.  Please help me to let go of that which no longer serves me.

Blessings,
Raine

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Priestess

Priestess
Dark Goddess Tarot
First Impressions:  My first impressions of this card are of studiousness, of going within, and of inner knowing.  This is also a card of scrying and general knowledge.  It also represents feminine wisdom.

Book:  From dissolution comes awareness, portal through which gods speak to man, sacred stone is the navel of the world, sisterhood, relinquishing your name

Guidance:  Believe in the power of oracles, believe in your intuition, you know more than you can explain, read the signs of day and night.


Journaling:

I love the reminder to trust the oracle and your intuition.  One of the things I've been learning /realizing is that I need to return to the time of innocence and faith.  It is so hard to trust sometimes because of all these doubts about whether I am worthy creep in, but I am a child of the divine so of course I am worthy.  This leads me to the question of If I'm worthy and should not be judged, than who am I to be judging John as unworthy?

The message I'm receiving is that I am not judging whether or not he is worthy of divine love, I'm saying that he has hurt and betrayed me and I no longer want the craziness and disruption that he brings to my life.  Those are two separate things.

January 20, 2018

This is amazingly profound and it gives me deep satisfaction as I think a lot of my turmoil about my life is about wanting to set boundaries and not have people in my life, but then I view myself as judgemental.  The reality is that saying someone has hurt you and that you do not want them in your life is way different than being judgemental.

As I reflect on this, I'm realizing that being judgemental is judging people's behavior that may or may not affect you.  Wow! as I wrote this, I realized that my mother has influenced this behavior as well because I hated what a judgemental bitch she was so I've gone the opposite way and refused to set boundaries that protect myself.  She judged me for working even though it did not affect her so because of that I chose to not judge John and let him abuse me because if I set a boundary, I would be judging him.  Wow!  That's pretty f*ed up.


Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Stepping off the Cliff with the Fool


I was doing one of Sasha Graham's wonderful Tarot Spells where you enter a card and see things from his/her perspective.  This particular spell had me entering the Fool and as I entered the card, I found myself feeling hopeful and full of faith and as I took that fateful step off of the cliff, I found solid ground.  Looking straight ahead, I saw a wonderful shimmery bridge that was only visible from the perspective of the person taking the leap of faith.  As I took my first step on that shimmery bridge that I knew was leading to my future,  I heard the fool whisper in my hear "Take the step and the bridge will appear."

Interestingly enough that's the title of a book that I bought several years ago and had forgotten about until I received my message from the fool.  It's moved from the bottom of my bookshelf to my nightstand and as I've started to read though it, I've realized why the book was at the bottom of my bookshelf.  When I bought the book, my impression from thumbing through it was that if you took the first step, the entire path would be laid out before you and you would have an absolute guarantee that things would work out.  I've never found that to be the case in life so I got frustrated when I first picked up the book and put it back down.  

However, I've gained maturity since I first bought that book and had my own experience with taking the next right step and being guided to the next one.  My guides knocked that message into my head heard when I got lost on Bell Tower could not find the path.  I had to ask for directions and the message was find the first cairn and once you've found that one, you'll be able to see the next one.  All I had to do was keep finding the next cairn and I'd find my way out.

I'm realizing that my guides are giving me two messages via the Fool.  The first is that I need to take the next right step in building a spiritual business that can sustain me in retirement.  I don't need to have the entire plan laid out right now, all I need to do is to take the next right step and the path to the next cairn will appear.  

The second is a little harder for me as I need to not only trust my guides that the path will appear, but I also have to trust myself to take the right steps.  For someone who has struggled with self esteem issues and struggled to believe I'm worthy of being led and that my efforts and knowledge are worth sharing, that is a tremendous act of trust and faith.  However, the message they are whispering in my ear is that I am a child of the Goddess and of course I am worthy.

And for those of you who can't visualize what that shimmer bridge looks like, here is Indiana Jones stepping off the cliff and onto a shimmery bridge.  I realized after I'd had my Fool Moment, that I'd seen that shimmery bridge before and it only took a few clicks on YouTube to find it :)


Note:  The image above is the fool from a Prophecy Wine label


Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Ten of Earth

Ten of Earth
Dark Goddess Tarot
First Impressions:  My first impressions of Ala are that she is stiff and statue like and is not interacting with her people. She also is very much a goddess of fertility with the prominent breasts and the design painted on her stomach.

Book:  Kin and Kind, living and dead are all part of one another, totality of the earth in all its variety and appearances, Goddess of morality and judgement, keeper of customs and laws.

Guidance:  Let relationships go as needed, do not seek vengeance, celebrate good fortune, celebrate those whose work you admire, keep and renew your relationship with the earth

Journaling:

This reading hits where I'm at today about the need to let go of people without vengeance.  It is about shedding the ties that no longer should be binding us.  My tie to John is a big one as he hurt me badly.  I had an interesting dream last night.  I dreamed we were sleeping together and he made an amorous advance.  Initially, I responded to him, but then my dream rewound and I asked him if he loved me or if I was just convenient.  When he didn't respond, I knew everything I needed to know.  This helped me to realize that our issues were not all about me and that he really does see women as objects.

January 20, 2018

As I read this, I'm realizing that my relationship with the earth also needs to include my relationship with my body.  This was an incredibly hard week and I lost my connection to both the earth and myself.  I spent most of my week in my head dealing with issues and lost track of the world around me.  I didn't make time to go to the ocean or to ground myself and I'm paying the price.  This week may be just as insane, but I need to make time to ground and take care of myself.



Monday, January 1, 2018

Three of Air

Three of Air
Dark Goddess Tarot
First Impressions:  The Blue Dakini is stomping on someone's heart as she dances.  The lotus flower appears to have blood flowing from it.  This is truly a card of heartbreak.

Book:  If it is not real and true, sever all ties, heralding a vast awakening, healing through destruction, quickly cutting through obstacles.

Guidance:  Face the harsh truth, put something in place of your wound, open yourself to the experience

Journaling:

I really love this reading and this card.  It is a reminder to let go of what no longer serves me and to open up to the possibilities of life.  I'm at a crossroads and I know that in order to move forward, I need to make some hard choices.  One of those choices is to choose to let go of my hope that something is going to happen with X and I need to put him in my rear view mirror.  I need to do like I am doing with so much of my life and keep the good and the lessons that I've learned and let go of that which no longer serves me.  Being diabetic also no longer serves me and I need to get with the program and quit the sugar.

January 13, 2018

The three of swords is still not my favorite card in the deck, but I am learning to appreciate it and to see the value in admitting heartbreak and accepting it versus hiding it.  I'm also seeing the value in having the pain drain out. 

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