Saturday, January 6, 2018

Destruction

Destruction
Dark Goddess Tarot
First Impressions:  I love the red fringe hanging over Kali, although I'm not sure if it is fire raining down on her or fire she has conjured.  I see her as severing heads and moving forward.

Book:  All the world changes, necklace of skulls and skirt of limbs, beloved by people as she allows them to move beyond fear.

Guidance:  Pray that Kali will be kind, illusions will be shattered, ride it out as best you can, do not evade dealing with something difficult

Journaling:

There are a couple of difficult things that I am dealing with at work. The first is not being 100% dedicated to a project and billable.  However, feeling insecure does not mean I am on unstable ground.  It is a feeling and not necessarily a fact.  Building new things always brings with it a period of adjustment, of change, and of growth.  Going through change does not mean that things will not work out.  It just provides opportunities for good things to flow into my life. 

I also need to accept that something I've really wanted in my life is an illusion and is not going to happen.  The one thing I have come to realize about this situation is that it really isn't about me.  Just because someone is not in a position to do something, does not mean I am unlovable or unworthy.  It really is not personal and has nothing to do with me.  The good thing is that this realization doesn't shatter me or even make me sad and that makes me happy.

January 13, 2018

Despite the fact that I deal with change everyday at work, it is still not something I truly enjoy.  I especially hate the destructive aspects of change because it hurts and is painful.  My divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me as it allowed me to become more truly myself, but it was also the hardest thing that ever happened to me.  I was stripped to the bone and there were times when it felt as if I would never recover.  However, it also allowed me to rebuild myself and to become a better and stronger person.

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