Friday, February 9, 2018

Shadow Work--Day 10

How does my shadow influence how others see me?



Dancer Three tells me that I often go overboard to hide the pain in my heart.  At home, I am very much an introvert and don't really have any friends.  I freak out and am truly terrified of meeting anyone.  However, I cover this up by being an extrovert at work, being bubbly, interacting with people, teasing them, etc.  I don't feel like I can truly be myself so I hide who I am in and that influences how others see me because they see the mask I put on instead of the real me.

Maker Ten is another card that tells me i do a good job of maintaining the illusion and only letting people see what I want them to see.  I don't want people to see who I truly am.  To see how damaged I am so I go overboard on putting on the happy camper face.  This card also goes into why I stayed in my miserable marriage so long.  I was so terrified of anyone thinking I wasn't perfect or anyone judging me for getting divorced, that I stayed and put on the happy face instead of doing the right thing.

Interestingly, even though I do a good job of putting o the happy face and sometimes playing the fool, Dancer King tells me that people see me has having great emotional depth and being deeper than I let on sometimes.  This card also tells me that sometimes people who are sensitive can see the despair and loneliness in my soul even though I work hard to keep it hidden.

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