Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Daily Draw: Nine of Wands

First Impressions:  Waiting, battle weary, fortress

Book:  Ready to face opponents, resting before returning to fighting, determination, courage, strength through adversity

Guidance:  Time to rest and collect your thoughts, success is the only possible outcome

Journaling

One of the messages I need to take from this is that I need to pick my battles.  Not every battle is worth fighting!  Wow!  That was pretty prophetic as someone online really pissed me off by posting a long interpretation about a post I'd made.  I wasn't looking for any interpretation, I was just putting my thoughts out there, but this moron proceeded to give me his interpretation.  I then thanked everyone but him for their comments and he got pissy and said I won't reply to your stuff anymore.  I really wanted to reply and say, "Good!"  However, that would have been petty.  I'm just going to let it go and not disrupt the peace of the board.  I'm not sure why some jackass felt the need to post and interpret my cards, but I don't need his response and if I could delete it, I would.  Not responding is such a difficult thing to do.  I love to have the last word, but some people aren't worth it and he wasn't worth it.

December 29, 2018

In retrospect, maybe it would have been worth it to post and remind him that I didn't not ask for comments and that I was perfectly capable of interpreting my cards myself.  One of the things that I have learned this year is that I need to start evaluating whether I am not speaking up and defending myself because I want to keep the peace or because I am afraid of conflict.  My response to the jackass in Chicago who commented on my body made me feel so empowered! 

I know that in the past, I would have pulled my coat tighter and scurried off like a little mouse because I was afraid.  I would have been seething and angry inside, but I would have been a) afraid to provoke him, b) afraid to hurt his feelings, and c) afraid of what people would think of me.  All of those are totally bullshit responses.  My mother conditioned me to put everyone else's feelings ahead of mine and I would have done that even with this worthless piece of rude shit.  However, no more.  His feelings were not more important than mine.  He was a worthless piece of shit with no manners and my speaking out was the right thing to do.  Even if he thought I was a bitch, that didn't matter.  What mattered is how empowered that I felt.

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