The theme for our solstice Blog Hope is Gift and I chose to use it as a catalyst for the gift I plan to give myself in 2020 and that is the gift of healing. I "choose" or am given a word every year and this year the word that has been coming to me repeatedly is HEAL. Our world needs healing, I need healing, and everyone I know needs to heal something. Unfortunately, I think a lot of us are resistant to healing because accepting that we need to heal means accepting that there is something sick or broken about ourselves. We put up barriers and obstacles to accepting healing and we stay broken.
Letting down our guard is difficult, especially in this climate of ugliness and hate, and it can feel like since the whole world needs healing we need to "stay strong" and keep up our barriers to avoid getting hurt more. However, I've decided that I am going to embrace my brokenness and open myself to healing this year.
Each letter also sparked thoughts of additional healing words so I created Word Art with those words embedded. For my tarot draw, I pulled a card for each letter of the word HEAL and one last card to sum it all up. For this reading, I'll be using the Light Seer's Tarot.
The Six of Pentacles tells me that I find hope when I open myself up to the generosity of the universe and when I know that love is flowing all around me. I find hope when I realize that I will always have enough and when I open my heart and my pocketbook to give, knowing that I have enough for me and enough to share. This is a powerful message because in times of worry and despair, we often hold close to what we have because we are afraid that there won't be enough or that we won't have more. I had a moment when my heart was broken open on Thursday night on my way to the San Francisco Airport. I'd stopped at a Walgreen's to get a couple of things for my trip and there was a homeless lady sitting outside of the Walgreen's and she asked if I could help her out. I gave my typical response that I had no cash because that makes my life easier. However, while I was inside the store, something spoke to me and I purchased some food for her and gave her that and 10 dollars as it was all the cash I had. Her whole face lit up as she blessed me and gave me a box of cookies. It was a powerful lesson in both giving and receiving.
The Moon tells me to surrender to my intuition and let the feelings wash over me. The more I struggle and try to fight the feelings or try to rationalize them, the more I will feel anguish. I need to surrender and accept that my intuition knows exactly what I need to do. When I surrender and when I struggle, I only cause myself more pain and fear. I need to let all of the emotions wash over me without holding on too tightly or without putting up my shields. When I fight them, I live a life of worry and sadness as it feels I am constantly holding something at bay. However, when I surrender, my life is calmer and I no longer live a life of fear.
The Seven of Swords is an interesting card to draw here as it is traditionally about deception and betrayal. However, the card is also about being aware of self deception and about being mindful of the stories that we tell about ourselves and others. Like a lot of us, I have a voice in my head that continually streams a message of bad stuff about my worth, my value, and my abilities. This card is a reminder to not listen to the self-deception and to rise about if and to be honest about who I am. It is a reminder to come from a place of truth and to remind myself that I do have value. it is also a reminder to not always assume that others are out to get me. Instead of always assuming people have the worst intentions, I need to use my intuition to determine there true intentions.
The Three of Wands tells me to be open to the opportunities that are out there and to watch for and be open to opportunities. What I take away from this card is to be open to opportunities for love in my life and to be on the look out for them. What I love about this card is that there are so many interesting elements in it and it is definitely not a one dimensional read. The fact that she has gray hair tells me that she has wisdom and patience and she is not going to jump on the first opportunity that presents itself. She is going to pay attention and to read the situation in order to make an informed choice. She also understands that there are multiple opportunities available and she can choose to wait for the one that is right for her.
HEAL=How do I heal myself?
All in all, this was a pretty dead on reading as it is a reminder to be open to the wonder and beauty that is all around me and to be grateful.