Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Deliberate Draw: Six of Swords

First Impressions: Fleeing, walking away, courage

Book:  Journeys of all kinds, taking a trip, change of consciousness, exploring realms on the other side

Guidance:  The time has come to leave old pain, places, and patterns behind, choose to take the next steps

Journaling:

This is such a card of courage and commitment and that's where I'm at right now as I am choosing to commit to my new life and to leave my hold life behind.  It's funny, buying a house with John in 2007 was a bigger commitment than marriage because it involved my financial security and he came close to destroying me financially when he walked out because he chose not to help and he chose to just walk away.   The funny thing is that at the time that I signed the paperwork I knew it would end poorly, but I chose to take the commitment because I believed that it was a commitment that would save my marriage.  It did not.

Buying a house in 2015 and choosing to move to Cleveland was my physical moving on and leaving behind Chicago and all that it entailed.  What I just found out from two close friends from Chicago as they both viewed it as a spiritual graduation of sorts as I was taking charge of my own life and making deliberate choices versus drifting.  It was a huge step in my growth, but I'm still working on moving forward and finding my way.  What I have found is that, as the text from the World Spirit, book says, "...the hardest part may be getting over your fear of moving into unknown territory."  For me, unknown territory means choosing to claim my life as my own and choosing to move forward alone instead of waiting for someone to share my life with.  

It is a little scary to accept that I may always be alone, but it is also very liberating as well as it means that I don't have to subjugate myself to anyone.  I can paint my bathroom pink if I want to, I can buy a little red sports car, I can live my life according to my own wishes and not have to take someone else's opinions into consideration.  It's liberating and scary all at the same time, but I'm finally ready.


Exercise:

Pull the six of swords from your favorite deck, climb into the boat, and sail toward your destiny.

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