Thursday, July 4, 2019

Deliberate Draw: Eight of Wands

First Impressions:  Fireworks, fast moving, lighting up the sky

Book:  Opportunities, new energies coming in and sparking rapid growth, pathways are opening

Guidance:  Take risks and initiate activities

Journaling:

Wow!  I love the reading on this card and the reminder that sometimes we have to take risks.  One of the things I've realized is that I need to change my mindset and I've started asking myself, "What I would do if I didn't care..."  Obviously, there are certain things I do care about, but there are a lot more where I'm really not invested in the outcome and I don't really care if I succeed or fail.  This is a question I started asking myself when I was thinking about when I was contemplating applying for my master's degree.  It had to be a program where I was true to myself and not something where I regurgitated answers based on what the teacher had fed us in lectures.  It also had to be safe space where I was free to explore my own thoughts and beliefs. 

When I decided to apply to WMU, I wrote the essay that said what was important to me.  I didn't write an essay for the purpose of getting in.  Cam ripped my essay apart and she was right to do so because it was mean and judgmental.  I wrote a new essay where I laid my heart bare and she ripped that essay as well because it was too emotional.  I sat on it for a few days and I decided that that was the essay I was going to go with because it was from my heart and it spoke my truth.  I wasn't going to write a political essay for the sole purpose of being accepted.  To Cam's surprise, but not mine, I was accepted with my essay.

Deciding that I don't care or that things don't matter frees me to be myself and to be my own person.  And that is a wonderful thing that I've found has the unexpected, but delightful, effect of opening up pathways to me and leading me to the things that are right for me.



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