Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Deliberate Draw: Four of Pentacles

First  Impressions:  Wanting to share, not sharing, getting credit for sharing

Book:  Honoring the life source that sustains, best insurance for survival is the community

Guidance:  Give with generosity, receive with gratitude, do not depend on what we own for a sense of security, reexamine your relationship with money and material possessions


This is an interesting card for me as it seems the people who share their wealth are happy while the hoarder is unhappy and looking with envy at those who give so freely.  The other lesson I'm getting from this is that true happiness does not come from money.  I already know that, but I feel so overwhelmed by bills and the need to pay them and get out of debt that I don't feel I have the wherewithal to step back financially and take a job that makes me happy.  However, I also know that I am learning lessons at my current job that I might not be able to learn anywhere else so I need to learn the lessons and trust that I am being guided toward my future.

I do know that I need to start building alternative streams of income to get my debt paid off and once that is done, I will have more flexibility in terms of salary.  I would love to volunteer at one of the hospitals as a chaplain, but I have absolutely no strength for that.  I'm really hoping that the allergy solution will help me feel better.  It is so horrible to wake up every morning and have no energy and have my face hurt so bad because my sinuses are swollen.

One of the other meanings of this card that wasn't covered in the LWB for the World Spirit Tarot was guarding your heart and this is something that I know that I do.  I am so terrified of getting hurt that I don't let very many people in.  It is really hard for me to be vulnerable and to let people in.  I'm getting better as I've been around people who have really proven themselves to be trust worthy, but it is still hard for me to trust.


I'm grateful we had Luke for 10 years
I'm grateful Stephanie helped me out
I'm grateful for the beautiful weather
I'm grateful for the dinner we had
I'm grateful for my fun car
I'm grateful that I have money to pay my bills

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