Thursday, July 11, 2019

Deliberate Draw: Ten of Swords

First Impressions;  Eviscerated, Isis calling for mercy

Book:  Ruin

Guidance:  Come to terms with reality, surrender and welcome the opportunity to move on

Journaling

Interesting card to reflect on today.  It was an absolutely brutal week at work as it felt like everything that could go wrong did.  Everyone seems to be fighting and nothing seems to be going right.  We're struggling with the blueprint and don't have half the work done that we need to get done.  In so many ways, it feels like a perfect shit storm, which is what Mercury Retrograde usually entails.  To top it all off, I'm getting sick and it feels as if I'm never going to be able to breathe again.  I feel as if I'm drowning in grief again, but I don't know why as nothing has occurred that I'm letting go of.

The message I'm getting loud and clear with this card even though it doesn't make perfect sense is to go inward and reflect upon where I am and what I want to do with my life.  I've been living a very outward focused life lately and haven't made time to turn inward and to meditate and reflect on what is important to me.  I've been focused on changing the world, but haven't spent time on me.  I've been eating poorly, not exercising, and not spending time outdoors.  I've let myself get caught up in the brain and not the spirit.  That is my reality right now and it is time I let go of the pleasures of the brain and make time for the pleasures of the spirit.  It is time to do something fun, to walk in nature, and to let the warm sun caress my face.

Surrender is such a hard word because on the surface it means giving up, but in reality it can mean giving up the burdens and giving up the things that we think are important to focus on the things that are really important.  So the trick for me is figuring out what is really important versus what I think is important.  I know that family is important, time for myself is important, but what isn't important?  Work is important only in the sense that it pays the bills, but I can't let go of it until I have something else to pay the bills and I don't know what that is.  I think I just have to pray and open myself up to listening to the answers.

Gratitudes
My flight was on time
Culver's
Walking to lunch
Driving the funky little VW Bettle
Hanging out with the kids when I got home
The dogs being happy to see me





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