Friday, July 12, 2019

Deliberate Draw: Ten of Wands

First Impressions:  Overwhelmed, hiding out

Book:  Burdens, taking on more than we can handle, may have to admit their are commitments you can no longer keep,

Guidance:  Prioritize, ask yourself what commitments you can really keep

Journaling:

I feel totally overwhelmed today and if there is not time to do everything that I need to do.  I want to finish school and it is so important to me, but I don't know how to do that and meet all my commitments at work.  There is a part of me that just wants to curl up and sleep and let the world pass me by.  In fact, that's what I did last night.  I went to bed and slept for 13 hours straight.  It felt wonderful, but I woke up and still have the stuffy head and feel awful.  I think the secret is that I have to be willing to let my body rest.  I abuse my body so much by pushing myself too hard because I think I can do it all.  However, the reality is that I can't do it all and I need to treat my body with respect.  I need to stop and say, "Enough!"

This weekend is my weekend of enough.  There is stuff to clean, I need to finish painting, I need to clean out the car, and there is still work to be done.  But I don't have the time, the energy, or the inclination to do it.  I've said enough and I just need to relax and sit back and be peaceful.  I need to cook and eat simple food, I need to snuggle the dog, I need to binge watch Bourdain, and I need to make time to just be.  When I push myself so flipping hard, I'm like the person in the image with the world falling down around her ears as she becomes buried by responsibility.  The amount of work to do can seem scary and overwhelming and I've realized that sometimes it really is okay to just say no, to say no to the extra work, to say no to going somewhere, to say no to doing one more thing.  It really is okay to just say no.

Gratitudes

Decent sleep
Kudos from David
Kudos from Arlona
Going to bed early
My bedroom not being miserable
Sitting outside with the dogs

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