Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Deliberate Draw: The Hermit

First Impressions:  Blessed solitude, choosing to live a life of light and dark

Book:  Time alone in contemplation, paring down of the outer world in order to travel deep within the psyche, ability to see within

Guidance:  Spend time alone

Journaling

Today was a true hermit evening.  I left work on time and got back to the hotel before 6 pm.  I watched some TV, worked on my paper, then went to bed at 9 pm.  It was so nice to fall into the complete darkness and let go of all the tension from the day.  I just let myself be alone and in the dark and it felt so good.  Even though I only really had four hours from the time I left work until I went to bed, it felt like a lot longer because I had solitude.  I didn't have to think about work.  I didn't have to think about what was next.  I could just be.

I think that is what's key about Hermit Time, the ability to just be, to not be worried about what's next, or what deadline needs to be met, or about carrying on a conversation, or about meeting expectations.  The need for solitude is a strange one in our society because everyone believes that in order to be happy you have to be surrounded by people, but being surrounded by people actually makes me very unhappy as I feel like I am on stage and not being my true self.  I especially feel that way at work where I am having to meet other people's expectations instead of being able to be myself.

Gratitudes
I'm grateful I had the evening alone
I'm grateful that work was fairly innocuous
I'm grateful for the beautiful weather
I'm grateful for getting to read and be myself

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