Friday, August 30, 2019

Deliberate Draw: The Sun

First Impressions:  Open to Receive, Harvest

Book:  Card of joyful empowerment,

Guidance:  Be the best we can be and share that with others

Journaling:

The sun called to me as it was one of those beautiful early autumn days out where the sun is still warm, but the trees are starting to turn and there is that faint hint of fall in the air.  As usual, Wendy wanted to spend time outside soaking up the sun so I sat outside with her for a while and it was so peaceful and wonderful to just sit and receive the sun.  One of the things I have realized over the past year or so is that Deity's love is just like the love of the sun, I don't have to do anything to be worthy of the sun's love and warmth, I just have to be willing to receive it.  I've always struggled with feeling worthy as I've had a lot of shame around who I am, but sitting outside in the sun is a good reminder that I am perfect and wonderful just the way I am.  All I have to do to receive love is to be open to it.

Sitting in in the sun did help me open up and be willing to receive because after I sat in the sun, I
came inside and was holding some of my rocks and I could feel their energy so clearly.  I always thought that when I quit being able to feel rocks that they had lost their faith, but I'm realizing that it was me being cluttered and not being open to receive.  Being open to receive is one of the simplest things imaginable as it just involves letting down my guard and letting people in, but it is also one of the hardest because I always operate from such a position of fear.

Having my girl Wendy in my life is such a game changer for me because she reminds me a lot of myself as she is slow to walk up stairs, she's kind of grumpy, and she snores like a freight train.  But despite all of that, we love her so much and having her serves as a good reminder that I am loved and I am lovable no matter what.

Today was one of those days where I felt like I was my best self as I was able to get through my work, keep my crazy client in line, and get some school work done.  I was also able to just be present for Wendy when she wanted to snuggle.

Gratitudes

I'm grateful for sitting in the sun with Wendy
I'm grateful for Sean's yummy casserole
I'm grateful for cuddling with Wendy
I'm grateful for a warm bath
I'm grateful for getting stuff done today
I'm grateful for my amazing lessons
I'm grateful for my snuggly bed

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