Friday, September 13, 2019

Deliberate Draw King of Cups

First Impressions: Drunk, loving, sleepy

Book:  Feeling and expressing emotions intensely, following passion through the storms

Guidance: Be the master of your emotions

Journaling

Emotions are such a funny thing as sometimes they seem so overwhelming and as if there is no way that I can bear them.  They're also scary and I don't know how to bear them all and how to survive them.  I feel sometimes as if I'm trapped in a storm of emotions and as if nothing good will come out of them.  This King of Cups is not one of my favorite cards because it feels as if the king is falling over drunk and that's not something I ever want to do again.  I like being in control of my faculties and I like waking up and remembering what I've done.  This card also reminds me of John and he brings out the absolute worst in me.  He makes me feel as if I am the most worthless person on the planet and that's not a place I want to go back to.

It has taken me a really long time to learn that feelings aren't facts and most of the time I do a good job maintaining an even keel, but there are days when it feels as if I let my emotions get the better of me and I get overwhelmed.  Part of it is that I'm totally overwhelmed at work and it feels as if I will never dig myself out of this whole that I'm in and I'm overwhelmed at school and feel as if the work will never get done.  However, I also know that it will get done and I know that no matter what i am strong enough to bear this.  And it may be that things get delayed and don't get done as soon as I'd like them to get done, but that's okay.  I will maintain and make it through this.

Gratitudes

I'm grateful for the good call with Jamie
I'm good for the awesome call with Frenchie
I'm grateful my org impact will be put in SharePoint
I'm grateful for the warm sun and sitting out with Wendy
I'm grateful for fresh watermelon
I'm grateful for the opportunity to work on my paper
I'm grateful for the kind words

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