Friday, September 6, 2019

Deliberate Draw: Queen of Wands

First Impressions:  Strength, wildness

Book:  Inspires and leads others to their own creativity and power

Guidance:  Recognize your own worth and  radiate it to others

Journaling

One of the things I'm most proud of over the past 8 years is that I have started to really claim and own my value.  After so many years of being beaten down by my mother, then John, I had really started to believe that I had no worth or value other than what I could do for others.  I automatically assumed everyone else's opinions about me were valid and I had no worth of my own.  Even though there were times when I would call people who had feedback stupid, I always took it to heart and it eroded a little bit of my soul.  However, since leaving John, I've started to realize that I do have worth and value just for being me and that I can choose to accept someone else's opinion of me or I can choose to disagree.

Today was an interesting day as Scott had given me feedback that OV did not think I was a cultural fit for their organization.  Instead of letting myself be devalued and viewing myself as defective, I was able to own my strength and own my value and realize that this was not a value judgement and that it did not mean I did not have worth and value.  Instead it is about being a fit for a situation and even though I disagree with how they want their project to be run and even though I would advise them differently, ultimately it is your choice and I would rather know now than to get into the project and have clashes.  This lets me move on and work with clients who do value me and my approach and them find someone who fits for their culture.


Gratitudes
I'm grateful for the time Cleary spent with us
I'm grateful Cam is not totally freaking out about this
I'm grateful for the strawberry shortcake
I'm grateful I have money to buy expensive cakes
I'm grateful that I've started to claim my power


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