Monday, May 11, 2020

Daily Draw: Ten of Earth and Taking Shelter

The ten of earth for me is a reminder to be grateful for all of the blessings that I have in the physical realm.  It is a reminder to be grateful for my home, my family, my dogs, and all the things that I have been blessed with.  It is also a good reminder that as Tosha Silver says, "It's not my money," because in reality it all comes from the source and it really doesn't belong to me.   What I've been finding as I get deeper into a life of prosperity consciousness is that I'm a lot less fearful and life seems to flow.  I know there are some that would say that it is easy for me to be grateful and let life flow because I have a lot of physical assets and that's true.  However, there have also been times in my life when I've been broke and it seemed like the harder I held onto money the more it slipped through my fingers.  When I was able to let go and trust Higher Power that I would be taken care of,  life flowed.

The other piece of the ten of earth is that it is a connection to all who have gone before.  I think sometimes those of us who have grown up without the best familial role models dislike cards connect us to our families.  However, that is limited thinking as the reality is that our families are really all those who have gone before and we need to remember that our ancestors go back to those who we know and came remember.  When I expand my view, I'm reminded that I can take guidance from my immediate ancestors, but also other role models.  Frida Kahlo is one of my role models and when I look to my ancestors, I can look to her strength as a feminine role model. 

My oracle card for the day was Taking Shelter which is all about pulling my energy inward and creating shelter within my own surroundings.  It's also a pretty appropriate card to draw right now as we are all sheltering in place.

Sunday, May 10, 2020

Daily Draw: Adelita of Earth and Breaking Trail

These cards are amazingly apt for where I'm at today.  I'm in such a position of accepting where I am at in my life both physically and emotionally and working to "grow where I'm planted."   Moving from being a consultant and living out of a suitcase to being an internal employee and living out of my closet is a huge shift.  I'm used to just washing the clothes in my suitcase, adding an outfit to replace what I wore home, and repacking.  Now, I'll actually be taking things off the hangers at home and getting dressed at my house every day.  That's a huge change and these cards address this shift in my life.

The Adelita of Earth from The Herbcrafter's Tarot tells me to ground myself by creating beauty where I am.  That means to truly live in my house and in  my skin and appreciate it.  It is about being present in my surroundings and taking the natural materials around me to create beauty.  Interestingly, I'm also reading It's Not Your Money by Tosha Silver and early in the book she recommends cleaning and getting rid of things that no longer matter.  For me, this is a two step process as first I clean and get rid of things, then I look at what is left and create beauty.  From a natural perspective, I'm recognizing the sacred beauty of the daffodils that spring up in my yard each year and the trees that grace my yard.  And from a human perspective, I'm moving things around instead of buying.

The other lesson from the Yucca (Adelita) is to ground spirituality in a practical way.  Sometimes we think that spirituality is separate from our daily lives, but it shouldn't be.  In reality everything that we do is sacred and beautiful and we should honor it as such.  that is a lesson I'm learning and I'm working to honor my life by treating it as sacred.  Having a home is sacred, having people who love me is sacred, it is all sacred and when I treat it as such, life flows so much better.

Breaking Trail is interesting in juxtaposition with the Adelita of Earth because this card is about creating a new trail and seeing limitations and blockages drop away.  On the one hand, this would seem to be in opposition to the Adelita of Earth because the one card is about being grounded where you are and the other is about moving forward.  However, one of the most important lessons I've learned is that you don't have to continually be on the move to move forward.  I used to think that being rooted in one place was boring and meant I was stuck, but I've learned that having roots really can help you grow and that's what I take away from these two cards:  keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

Saturday, May 9, 2020

Daily Draw: Six of Fire and Cleansing Waters

The Six of Fire is such a perfect card to draw right now as my family is all about celebrations this month.  I graduated two weeks ago and Sean's graduation is this weekend.  Although we won't be in Phoenix like we planned, we will be celebrating as we're  going to get a cake and pizza today and we'll be having a watch party to watch his celebration on Monday.

One of the really interesting things to me about the situation is that Cam who insisted when wanted no celebration, didn't want to walk down the aisle, etc. is now feeling left out because we didn't go out to eat, we didn't decorate, etc.  She made it sound as if she just wanted it really low key and that's what we did.  We had dinner in last year when she got her MA and we were very proud of her, but she was adamant about not celebrating.  However, now that she sees our celebrations I think she is a little wistful that she wasn't feted.  However, the good thing about celebrations is that it is never too late and we will have a celebration for her in a few weeks and remind her of all the ways that we are proud of her.  She is an amazing person and the fact that she graduated after all the challenges that were put in her way is amazing.  She deserves to be celebrated and we will celebrate her.

This card is also a reminder that we are a communal species and it is important to celebrate as a community and to fete one's accomplishments.  However, the flip side of it is that we also have to be willing to step up and boast about our own accomplishments.  Sometimes we are too humble and we downplay our own accomplishments because we don't want to put anyone out or we don't want anyone to fuss over us.  That's not me, I like to have people fuss over me and I believe that my accomplishments are worth celebrating!

The counterpoint to the celebratory nature of the nasturtiums  the Six of Fire is the Cleansing Waters card from the Sacred Traveler Oracle.  While the fiery nasturiums are all about passion, celebration, and community, the Cleansing Waters is more about austerity and letting go of things that no longer serve us.  This card is about not only clearing the clutter from our physical homes and bodies, but also about getting rid of the emotional garbage.  One piece that I'm working on right now is letting go of my anger and resentment over John.  Even though I know that I came out ahead and that my life is so much better, there is a part of me that wants to grind him under my heel and continue to make him pay.  That doesn't really serve me well and it is something I'm realizing that I'm going to be working on for quite a while.  However, I also know that the very fact that I recognize it is a problem is a good thing.  I just have to continue putting one foot in front of the other and working through it.

All in all, these were pretty amazing cards.

Friday, May 8, 2020

Mind Mapping the Magician

The Magician is one of those cards that I've had an interesting relationship with since I started learning Tarot ten years ago.  Initially, I didn't like the Magician because I found him cocky, arrogant, and a little flashy compared to the quiet grace of the High Priestess.  My initial instincts were that the Magician made it all about him and that he thought he could command the powers of the gods.  However, the more I've read and learned, I've realized that the Magician is not cocky, but rather confident and that there is a significant difference between the two.  He knows he has skills, but he also realizes that his true power comes from the Gods.  He serves as a channel for the gods and a true magician understands that.

I've come to learn that the Magician is someone who comes into a situation, realizes that there is a crisis, and works to manifest a solution to the situation by channeling the energy of the gods.  He serves as a conduit because he can take the raw power of creation and manifest what needs to be manifested.  The Magician takes the raw elements that the fool carries with him and is able to use those elements to manifest and create:

  • He uses the power of the sword to find clarity and to cut through bullshit.
  • He uses the power of the earth to manifest material goods and as a reminder to stay humble and grounded.
  • He uses the power of water to stay emotionally balanced
  • he uses the power of fire to propel himself and others forward
A true magician understands that his/her power is not their own and that they are merely a conduit for the power of the gods.

What is really interesting to me is that my understanding of the power of the Magician has evolved as my understanding of magic has evolved.  When I first became a pagan, I thought that it was all about me and my power and to a certain extent I treated the gods as a cosmic vending machine.  I had some success, but I also got kicked in the ass a few times when I manifested something I wasn't ready to manifest.  I've since learned that I can ask for and attempt to manifest things over and over and over, but the gods really have the final say and they can say yes or they can say no.

I have also realized that when I maintain and value my connection to the gods and I work to honor them, I have much more clarity into what I should be manifesting and I am more likely to receive good messages than when I am all caught up in myself and my own arrogance.

However, even though I've learned and grown, my first instinct when I see the Magician is still to think of John Travolta.

Daily Draw: Eight of Earth & Faraway Places

"Let your work be an embodied prayer."
Latisha Guthrie, The Herbcrafter's Tarot

The Eight of Earth is Turmeric and this is a card of hard work and buckling down.  I needed this reminder because a lot of the work I'm doing right now is foundational and it isn't really fun or exciting.  In some ways it is the exact same work I've done lots of times before and so for me at least it feels a little boring and as if I could do it in my sleep, but it is still important and it needs to be done.  This card is a reminder that everything we do can be sacred and it is they way we approach work and not the work itself that makes it sacred.  Right now we are viewing sanitation workers, grocery store clerks, and others as critical and some of those jobs might have been considered throw away jobs six months ago.  This is a reminder that everything we do can and should be viewed as sacred.   My job is all about empowering people and helping them do the  best they can.   It is a way of being of service to others and the reality is that any time we can be of service to others we are adding value and doing sacred work.  I love the line that says "Let your work be an embodied prayer."  I need to start really focusing every morning and asking that I bring my sacredness to work.

Eight of Earth is not only about doing the work and viewing it as sacred, it is also about teaching others and that is the part of my job that I always love.  I love that aspect of my job, empowering people and helping them to learn something new so that they have a skill that they can take with them and use in other ways.  I love this aspect of life and I think that's why I love blogging because it is a way of taking what I've learned and hopefully sharing it and empowering others.

The oracle card I pulled for the day was Faraway Places which is going on a journey of sorts and being willing to explore the wild and wooly places both internal and external.  This card is a very interesting juxtaposition with the Eight of Earth as that card is about buckling down and doing the work and this card is about change.  The meaning I get from these two cards is that doing the familiar work can lead to change as I apply my skills and talents in new ways.  Even though it may seem that I have learned all I need to learn, this will allow me to go deeper and explore new and different ways of being and learning.

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Daily Draw: Ace of Air & Fellow Travelers

The Ace of Air seems to be a follow on card to the last two days as first there was the Two of Air which told me to let go of worn-out beliefs and I read that to mean some beliefs I had gotten from my grandmother about needing to be with someone, yesterday brought the  Adelita of Fire which was about defending the grandmother's beliefs, and today brings the Ace of Air which is about discernment.  Pretty interesting as I read these three cards together as let go of what doesn't serve me, keep and defend what does, and be discerning about those choices. 

The Ace of Air, Yarrow, has other important messages for me as well.  The first is to set my feelings aside and follow the truth.  That's always a hard message for me as when I'm in a dark place, my feelings automatically go to "I suck."  I've been in that place a lot this week as I've started a new job this week and while my boss is telling me that I'm doing what I need to do, but my brain is telling me that I suck.  A big part of it is that the expectations at this job are different than my old job and work that I'm doing now would have been "nonbillable" at my old job so I am not seeing the value in it.  A big part of this is a lesson for me to reset my expectations and to realize that things I do do add value.  I also have been feeling horrible this week as I'm battling a huge sinus infection so that may have something to do with my negative mood.  However, this is a really good reminder to keep myself positive.

The other lesson from the Ace of Air is to "know your wounds, identify your medicine."  This is a reminder to me that sometimes I need to be gentle with myself and other times I need tough love.  My default mode is beating myself up and this card is telling me that that's not always the right medicine.  Sometimes I need to be kind and loving and other times I need a little tough love. 

Fellow Travelers is a great card as it reminds me that I need to open up and let other people in.  I tend to think that I can do it all myself, but that's not the case and I need a reminder that it is okay to ask for help and it's okay to accept help.  This is also a reminder about kindness and about the fact that we need to be kind and help others when we can.

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Daily Draw: Adelita of Fire and Crossing Bridges

What I find interesting about Adelita of Fire from the Herbcrafter's Tarot is that this card is about defending the integrity of the grandmother's teachings while yesterday's Two of Air was about letting go of warn out beliefs and lessons. What is ironic about this juxtaposition of cards is that a lot of the lessons that I need to let go of came from my grandmother.  In some ways this is a mind twister for me, but when I step back and look at the bigger picture, I need to learn to be discerning about the lessons from my grandmothers and carry with me the ones that add value and let go of the ones that are outmoded. I think I do this to a certain extent as I have picture of my Grandmother Elda hanging over my sink as she is my role model of a good cook.  I have so many fond memories of eating around her table.  Those are the lessons that I take with me as I learned so much about being a good cook and a good person from her.

One of the intriguing aspects of this card is the call to be a leader and to empower others.  That's a message that I've really been learning in my life lately and something my new boss said to me that really struck me was about his wanting to be of service.  That's something a lot of people don't think of lately because we make it all about ourselves and all about ego.  We don't think about how we can serve others and that makes the world a little sadder.  There is this perception somehow that when we serve others we are somehow diminished, but that shouldn't be the case at all because being of service means we are helping others.

Cayenne in combination with Crossing Bridges tells me to only take what is important with me and to let go of all the things that no longer serve me.  I need to heal my past and let go of the pain, the anger, and all that junk.  This card calls for me to forgive and let go and forgiveness is sometimes incredibly difficult for me because I am a scorpio and my MO is to hold on till grudges until someone has paid a stiff price.  This card is telling me that maybe I need to just walk away and let it all go.  I am realizing the older I get that grudges really don't serve me well.

Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Daily Draw: Two of Air and Wise Leader

Chicory is an interesting plant for me because when I was growing up and we would go on trips with my grandmother, she would always point it out and call it Blue Ruin.  As this was in the days before the internet, I had no way of looking it up to see why it was called that and she didn't know either.  I did Google it, but couldn't find anything related to it being called Blue Ruin.  Why that memory is important is that Chicory (Two of Air) in The Herbcrafter's Tarot is telling me to let go of long held beliefs and to let go of worn-out beliefs and one of the messages that my grandmother hammered into my head was that I needed a man to survive.  Starting when I was about 14 or 15 every time I went to visit her, she would ask if I had a boyfriend yet and when I went to college, she wasn't interested in what I was learning or what was happening at school, all she cared about was whether or not I had a boyfriend.

She wasn't the only one that was drilling the message into my head that I needed a man to be whole, my parents were also sending that message.  My father made it clear that the only degree he would pay for was an accounting degree because then I could support myself in the event that I had to.  When I reflect upon that now, I'm realizing that the message was that supporting myself was a fall back plan because the ideal course of action would be to be supported by a man while I did the "housewifely" things like cooking and cleaning.  Why would a woman ever want to support herself?  My mother reinforced this idea by expecting everything I did in life to be about someone else.  This continued up until the day I had had enough with her and cut her out of my life.  That day came when I told her I was separating from my husband and her questions where "How are the kids?" and "There's not going to be a divorce, is there?"  There was no concern for me or how I felt, instead it was (as it had always been) about everyone else.

I've worked hard in the last 10 years to learn that I am an amazing and awesome person all by myself and that I don't need someone to support me.  That doesn't mean I don't want someone in my life, but it does mean that I've learned that I am a whole human being all by myself.

The Wise Leader reinforces this by reminding me that I can be a beacon for others and I can lead people.  This has been a hard lesson for me as well as my father continually reminded me that women were not leaders, women should not be in a position of power over men.  The last few years have been about coming into my own as a person and as a leader and I'm realizing that I am strong and that I can stand proud and lead people.

These were awesome cards and a good reminder for me to continue to let go of all the old and hateful lessons.

Monday, May 4, 2020

Mind Mapping the Fool

I'm embarking on a journey through the tarot using Rachel Pollack's The Shining Tribe Tarot and taking one card to study and meditate on as long as it takes.  I also happened upon a post by Tarot by Arwen about Mind Mapping the Tarot and it had me digging through my hard drive to find my mind mapping software.  What I'm realizing is that this is an amazing way to think about the Tarot as it lets me get all my thoughts down on paper and see where they take me.  

Some of the interesting insights I had as I was mind mapping the fool were that while I tend to think of the Fool as an impetuous jump off the cliff kind of guy, there was actually some foresight into his adventure as he took the time to pack a bag and to pack.  Another thing that struck me was that he and his dog were stepping into the danger together.  That's an interesting phrase I picked up from Patrick Lencioni and his work on leadership.  Although in his world it is not about physical danger, but more emotional danger, that was the phrase that jumped out at me as I thought about The Fool and his little dog stepping off the cliff and into the danger together.

The other thing that struck me as I was reading this was the sun and while the sun illuminates the Fool's path and keeps him sunny and warm, the sun also made me think if Icarus who in his hubris flew too close to the sun and melted his wings.

All in all, this was pretty interesting and I think I will continue working my way through the tarot with mind mapping.

Daily Draw: Four of Water & Voyage of the Heart

The Four of Water from The Herbcrafter's Tarot is all about taking time to recharge and refresh the spirit.  It is also about not letting ourselves get overwhelmed.  Mint is the perfect plant for the four of water as it is an herb that can refresh and overwhelm.  Lathisha Guthrie said, "Mint plants are used as border plants because they can be trained to grow as a lively hedge.  However, just as mint can overtake the garden if it is not contained, your feelings can overwhelm."  She advises is to take time to replenish your emotional reserves.  This is advice that I'm working hard to implement right now as I'm going through a significant amount of change personally and Covid-19 means the world is undergoing a lot of change.  I'm realizing that it is more important than ever to take a step back once in a while and make time for myself.  I have to be kind to myself as I can't do everything all at once, I have to accept that sometimes I have to say no, even to things that look good.

Some of the spiritual practices that I've been putting into play are making time to pull my cards every day and journal about it.  Finding time to journal and really think about the cards and how they apply to me is important.  I've been pulling the cards and sitting with them for a day before writing about them the next day.  It lets me take a much deeper look than if I just pull them and write about them.  It gives me a chance to reflect upon their meaning over the course of the day and record any relevant insights before sitting down to write.  Gratitude is another practice that I'm working on and when I really practice gratitude, life flows much more smoothly.

The other card I pulled was The Voyage of the Heart from The Sacred Traveler Oracle Cards, which tells me that "Love flows through you and to you" and that I am beloved even if it doesn't feel that way.  It's interesting as I was reading through some of my old journals and the self loathing was painful to read.  Every other word out of my pen was about how horrible I was, how unlovable, how totally unredeemable.  I've come a long way since then and I am starting to appreciate my worth and my value.  It has been a long hard road, but I think I've come a long way and I am proud of the work I've done.

Sunday, May 3, 2020

Daily Draw: Hija of Earth and Impasse

Hija of Earth from the Herbcrafter's Tarot and Impasse from the Sacred Traveler's Oracle are another pair of cards that are perfectly in synch.  Hija tells me to maintain my boundaries while Impasse tells me that sometimes I need to redirect.  I'm reading these cards as a reminder to not only keep my own boundaries, but also to respect others and that sometimes I do need to stop and redirect.  I'm someone who loves to be in charge and loves to drive forward, no matter what the cost.  However, these cards are showing me that that is not always the best way to live.  Sometimes we need to stop, reevaluate, and redirect.  These cards are especially meaningful to me today because I'm giving up something I've worked hard for to go in a different direction.  I was finally given the director's title in February and I'm walking away to spend more time with my family and to have more work life balance.  For me that's the right choice, even though my ego isn't liking it too much.

Hija is also telling me that I need to let go of my need for perfection and to just accept that sometimes good enough is all that is needed.  That's not a lesson I like, but it is the one that I need.

Saturday, May 2, 2020

Daily Draw: The Hanged One and Discovery

Pulling Burdock (The Hanged One) from The Herbcrafter's Tarot really hit home with me as we have a burdock invasion in our backyard and it seems that nothing we do gets rid of them.  We have tried digging them out, we have tried vinegar, and we've tried other gentle methods.  The only thing we haven't tried is poison as I refuse to poison the environment.  This card is asking me to take another look at the burdock and, by extension, other areas in my life where I am frustrated and feeling adversarial.  Maybe there is another way of looking at situations.

As I read deeper into the wisdom from the card, I'm advised that "challenge presents and opportunity for growth."  One possible way to get rid of the burdock is to use its leaves as mulch to help provide nutrients for the soil as burdock may be an indication that the soil is poor.  That's interesting as I was just thinking about composting and we could compost some of the burdock to improve the soil.  Latisha Guthrie also advises that healing the land or the body is a long term process and I need to accept that deep change takes time and be willing to do the work.

Burdock is also an ally for the liver as it helps to clear and release toxins and my diabetes is acting up again which means that both my pancreas and liver are out of wack.  It may be time to make friends with the burdock and use its wisdom.

Discovering Truth from the Sacred Traveler Oracle Cards is all about living an authentic life and living my own truth.  Sometimes that's hard for me as I think it is for a lot of other women as we have been conditioned to always make others comfortable while ignoring and downplaying our own discomfort.  This card tells me that I need to be honest about who I am and what's going on in my life, even when it is difficult.

Wow!  These were some amazing cards and I'm seeing revelations opening up in my own life about how tenacity can be a good thing and a bad thing about about the importance of boundaries.

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